Heather Graham calls out intimacy coordinator for going too far when directing sex scene

Anish Vij
2026-03-27T12:35:48.357Z
Entertainment

Heather Graham opened up about the 'confusing' new reality of filming sex scenes

Heather Graham is known for starring in some of the most legendary comedy films of all time.

From Boogie Nights and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, to Bowfinger and Say It Isn’t So, the 56-year-old's body of work can't be messed with.

The Hangover actor, however, has opened up about the way modern sex scenes are filmed in the wake of the #MeToo Movement.

"I think the MeToo movement was amazing [and] I think there is a very good intention behind intimacy coordinators," she told Us Weekly.

"But it is odd when you come up without having them, and suddenly there’s this random person in the room just staring at you when you’re, like, pretending you have sex. It’s kind of awkward."

“I know that they have a beautiful intention, and they really want to help and protect actors,” she explained. “But as the actor, sometimes I’m like, ‘Can you just get all these people out of the room?’”

Heather Graham criticized the 'confusing' new way sex scenes are filmed (RLJE Films)

On the moment an intimacy coordinator went too far, Graham recalled: “One time, I had an intimacy coordinator, and they started directing me on, like, how to have sex in a scene.

“They were like, ‘When you do this, you can do this.’ And I was like, ‘You’re not the director, OK? I’m not asking for notes on how to have sex in the scene.'”

Graham features in new comedy horror 'They Will Kill You' (Erika Goldring/WireImage)

“I just felt, like, ‘Shut up’,” she said.

“I’m like, ‘You can just tell this to the director… because I don’t want to have two different people directing me’. It’s confusing.”

Graham returns to our screens in the horror comedy They Will Kill You, out today (27 March).

Directed by Kirill Sokolov, the film follows ex-convict Asia Reaves, who takes a housekeeping job in a mysterious New York high-rise called the Virgil, only to discover the building’s residents belong to a deadly satanic cult responsible for disappearances.

Graham plays cult member Sharon alongside Zazie Beetz, Myha'la, Tom Felton, Patricia Arquette and Paterson Joseph.

Graham says she better equipped to deal with sex coordinators on set (Ivan Apfel/Getty Images)

Looking back at an awkward moment on set, she said: “I just did this other horror movie, and there was this adorable intimacy coordinator. She was in her 20s, super sweet.

“We were doing this scary scene, and I felt like I had to take care of her.

“She’s like, ‘This is really disturbing.’ And I’m like, ‘I know, I’m sorry’, it’s kind of awkward.”

Despite some bad experiences in the past, the movie star went on to say that the role could be beneficial for younger actors coming up.

“It might be better if you’re younger and don’t know how to stand for yourself and speak up for yourself,” she said.

“At this point, I feel like I’m strong enough. So I just don’t want a lot of extra people in the room.”